i think you deserve much better than me...

i am so sorry that its been a while since i last posted on here...but i guess life has been so busy outside of the computer realm. im sorry to hear wayne about your life, but you know, those people are right, we do care about you. ill re-examine myself...but i don't know if it will help the fact that i am...well...you know what im talking about. anywho...

i guess a ton has happened...so yesterday i found out that there was an emergency transfer for the elders in our area. so now elder p has a new companion elder b something im not sure i forgot, and i cant even spell elder p's last name, so im just going to call his companion elder b. idk much about him, but yes, i did go heart attacking last night. my mom even got the chance to see remanents of (see cant spell) of that...cuz i hit her block.

but with work and school things have been really busy. i have to write a paper on the influences of advertisement schemes in comparison now to the earlier ages. i just think that i don't have enough experience on this topic. sure i can say...hey, the graphics have advanced in our day...but i don't think that would justify it. we all live in the world of ads. and so its to me, kinda based on peer pressure. you are forced to look at smoking ads. when you watch tv, you see many things you don't even think would influence your life. (speaking of which, i have a funny story to share...how rude i thought...have a big billboard adverising for a church...saying have hope...and the next one down the road be of miller lite...well, it at least happened to me.) and you don't even notice. well, what was it like back then? i certainly didn't live in that era. i don't know which particular things would have influenced me. i would have been a totally different person. so i guess i would say i don't really know. but hey...yet again...the graphics on the ads have truly changed over the years...haha. sorry to write my paper here...
but with work, i guess its been kinda busy. a few guys have been asking me out on dates, and idk. i would rather not, considering the fact that one...they aren't members of the church, so they either disagree with what i believe or make fun of it, or two...theyre just complete jerkfaces and thought i was "hot." for instance...this guy named joe asked me out. i thought he was a decent guy, didn't swear all that much, was very modest and things, but wasn't a member of the church. found out that i was, sorta kinda made fun of me, but hey, all in good time i guess...reminded me of someone i knew...and it scared me. i still decided to go against my gut feeling and give it a try. well, he was ok, and that wasn't the problem...we went to a movie, and things were going great, but its just the little things that irked him. idk whether or not i did something wrong, but he refuses to talk to me. idk. i give up on dating...im never getting married. ever.
my mom is preparing for her wedding, and sometimes it scares me. she is getting way way way too excited, and she knows it. idk. in ways i guess it makes me jealous, but i know shes got a ton more years of marriage under her belt than i ever wished i had. just the feeling that the right man is out there somewhere for me...and we can't connect. its like were going to be together for eternity...but wouldn't eternity count as now? maybe im just that retarded...i don't care. im not getting married anyways.
ive also been talking to a few people that i lost contact with...for instance mitch. i haven't talked to him in a while, and i was wondering if something i had done caused him not to speak to me. well, lots has happened, and i understand completely now...theres just one thing...why haven't i heard from Chad's parents? lol. im sure i'll know soon.
and i know that i have way too many guy friends...i don't want to make anyone jealous or sad or anything...i simply don't connect with anyone...i guess you could say i'm still looking for the man of my dreams. idk where he's at. so if you are worried, don't be. i'll let you know if something changes. i feel like i'm making guys in specific think that i like them...when i don't want to make them think it...i'd rather let them know that i do. so if i do like them, and seriously contemplate furthering a relationship with them, i would let them know, cuz thats my naturale. lol. indeed.
now im just blabbling. its so random. mostly a sad story about my love life and how im never getting married. and way too much complaining. meh.
well, i must go, i have tons of updates to do, and lots more complaining elsewhere.

take care, xoxo
brandie pandie
snuffy

so i was laughing with a russian in the bronx...

today is my mothers birthday.  i guess its an okay day, i haven't really done much of anything really.  just sitting around.  my computer isn't really fixed yet or anything, so i think that i am just going to cancel my service through them...they can't seem to fix much of anything.  they by the way, moved back the date again when they were coming...and now they were saying it could be as early and yes i said early as march!  and they didn't even give me a friggin day...so yea.

i was planning on heading over by by my moms house today...she wanted me to come over for cake...since my grandpa and all are coming over...and yes, she did get out of the hospital.  as a recap there, she went in on valentines day and got out of the hospital yesterday.  she said that she was in alot of pain.  she said the ride home was very difficult with all of the bumps she said she...well, hurt.

as far as other news this week, i was made aware that my great uncle who is one of the closest members of my moms side of the family (we don't really associate with those on my moms side, because alot of them were doing things that my mom just didn't think were acceptable to show her children...ie drugs, getting in trouble with the law...things like that...anywho...) was dying because of his problems with his kidneys.  as far as i knew at that point, he only had as much as two weeks to live.  well, he didn't even make it that far...he died two days ago.  sad, i know.  so in relative terms, he was what some would call a "godfather..."  thats what he was to me.  a third or technically fourth grandfather.  I just wish that i had the opportunity to see him before this happened.  I know it hurt my mom much worse because of her condition and due to the fact that it was her uncle and she was in the hospital...yea not a very good situation for her right now.  i am trying my best to comfort her...do everything i can.  i guess sitting here doesn't really help, either.  but i did promise to let you guys know what is all going on.  so on this last thursday, it was the first time i had actually taken a call for hotwire.  so the first call that i had recieved was from a russian lady in the bronx wanting to book a flight.  lol.  she could hear me laughing, i was only laughing becuase it was my first call, and typically your first call you can understand.  lol.  it was great.  she brought it to my attention that i was laughing, but she thought i was laughing at her e-mail...which was something down the lines of parkhorseviolet. lol.  her name was Svetlana  her last name was even worse!  i couldn't even pronounce it even if i tried! wow.  but i told her that it was my first call, and she just started laughing at me, and said it was ok and that she understood!

and last week sunday, we attended church in our new meetinghouse, which was awesome!  primary was in the basement...and there was tons of room!  it acutally reminded me of our old ward building...it was beautiful!  kinda crowded though for sacrament meeting.  but the great thing was that i was asked to give the opening prayer for sacrament meeting for the first time in that building! YAY!  it felt so great and i was so happy!  primary was cool too, a few of the people that i heart attacked realized that I heart attacked them after i gave my primary lesson...it was kind of funny. (i used the hearts that i had left over from heart attacking and used them in a lesson for the kids...the first lesson i taught for primary, so she noticed right away!)  wow that was super repetitive.  sorry if you find that in accordance with the last blog too... but anywho...it was great.  and then later on sunday i was invited over to dinner at that ladys house (the one i mentioned in one of my blogs about standing up in sacrament and saying she was having a bad morning...the same lady that found out that i heart attacked...) and of course i went.  there was another lady there, who lets the missionaries stay at her house, and she shared some interesting stories about the elders...and then later on preceeded to talk about our relief soicety birthday party...and how they/we are giving gifts of service instead of actual physical gifts...and one of the ladies mentioned "well, can we make a list of what we need to have done, so others will know what there is to do?"  and i  said "where and when do we sign up?" lol... later on though, this got me thinking...i said to myself...how selfish and how greedy.  how can you only think of yourself and think of service at the same time?  i mean, sorry...but i seriously thought (my definition of service) is a willingness to act (either knowingly or unknowingly in either way) upon another person- another way to say to want to do something whether they know it or not, or even whether you know that you are helping them or not to do something for someone else. just made me think...

i also got a package and a letter in the mail from Chad...he sent the kids a picture that he drew...it was so cool.  haha.  the kids loved it! lol.  but i have a few cool ideas--lemme know if they sound alright! ...send matching ties to him and his companion...send him green stuff (hes a greenie...lol)  maybe kermit holding a sign saying it aint easy to be green...lol.  then of course theres your money, stamps...pens...green gum saying "chews the right" idk im corny.

i did send out a package today to him, i also sent out a few wisconsin postcards to those who are curious.  :)

and i must be going now, i think i nearly wrote a book!

brandie pandie

xoxo your snuffaluffagus

Currently Listening Clocks By Coldplay see related

well, i hope this is easy to read...lol. if not, i won't ever use this color again. i just wanted to see how it would turn out. anywho...lots has happened since my last blog. i'll try and keep it as short and simple as i can...well, we found out that my mother has cancer. it sucks :( my dad was talking to me about how the missionaries came over to his house, and he said that he didn't want to be a member of our church. i said to him, they weren't trying to baptize you, they were trying to get you to come to church, to do what i asked them to. i told him that it would make me happy to see him come to church, he didn't have to get baptized...i would just like to see him take the missionary discussions. that way, he at least knows what his daughter believes in. he tried arguing back, and thats when i got a call from my mother. i was at the library at the time, so i really couldn't talk...so i waited for her to leave a voicemail. she left one alright. i listened to it right there at the library...and i was talking to wayne about how cool everything went with heart attacking (which went great by the way...we only got two houses, the elders, the drossarts, and the jensens. it was so great, we left wonderful messages on the hearts, like i said in my last blog, but as an update, i got an e-mail from s.jensen about being heart attacked, and yea, she knew it was me! lol. it was very uplifting...very cool.)...anyways...i got the voicemail from my mother. listened to it, and she said that she was going in for surgery, that it was an emergency, and that i should call her back right away. i was really scared, and so i rushed out of the library up to the enszers house, which is just right up the road, walking distance. i called her back, and she lead on this whole story...about everything that happened at the doctors office, before she even said what was wrong...and she didn't even mention the fact that she had cancer! lol. not so funny, i just always type that. anywho...she went on about how she had to have a complete physical, blood tests, urine tests, x-rays, and a ultrasound. (when she said that, by the way, i thought she was pregnant...) but it turns out not. (and yes, this part is hard for me to talk about just because of the fact that i'm like a little kid when it comes to this stuff...talking about it is icky...lol. but i think i can do it.) she had several things that were wrong. and first i must start out that my mother, about 5 years ago had her appendix taken out, and they found a growth on her uterus (they didn't think anything of it at the time and they just removed the growth at the same time they took her appendix out) and the other thing you should probably know, is that each day my mom drinks a ton of diet pepsi and chews on a crapload of ice. (which, by the way, if you didn't know, is a good signification that the iron count is low.) well, her iron count was low, it was supposed to be at a 13, but was at a 7...she had a low white blood cell count...(good signification of cancer...) she had a hemorroid (we won't go there...lol.) she has a uterus 2x the size its supposed to be (and if you don't know the female body, a normal uterus is about the size of your fist...) and she has even more growths on her uterus, ones that range up to 2 inches in diameter (which is about the size of a child's fist) a syst on one of her ovaries...among her cramping and pain. she said that she was going in for surgery (to have a histarectamy) on Valentines Day...and she will probably get out on her birthday (three days later...) she will be out of work for six weeks, and...ill have to help out as much as i can. idk how with school and work starting...i can probably promise her the weekends, considering i won't have either work or school...and alex will probably be out with his girlfriend or working.
so then i head up by the enszers, and s.jensen calls me. she asked me if i knew about my moms doctors appointment...and i said yea, i knew all about it. then she went on about how cancer is a hard thing to deal with, and if i need to talk to anyone about it...i could go to her. i was thinking to myself...cancer...how does she know its cancer...and thats not what my mom told me. so i asked her how she found out, and she told me through her husband, who works with my brother at wal-mart...she said that her husband told her that alex said it to him, and that alex was completely devestated about it. so i sat there, chatted with her a bit about it...and then i went up to wal-mart to go see him. he looked really crushed, and i really didn't know what to do. but alex definately told me that it was cancer, and mom didn't even tell mark (her fiancee) yet. so it was kind of interesting.
so then yesterday i went shopping with my mother, mark, and sara. we got some skirts for me, and dress clothes, because i needed them severely (both for work and church)...i only had two skirts. desperate i tell you. anywho...it was fun. we went to like the best restaraunt ever...Mancinos...mmm...i love the grinders there. it was fun.
then today, i went to church, and saw s.jensen. we kinda talked about it, then i went to primary :) yay! fun fun. we had snacks. lol. learned a few songs, taught a lesson, it was good. then everyone came over for dinner. (we had hawaiian haystacks and green chili stew...mmm good stuff! lol.) i got the chance to talk to one of the missionaries about my dad, and he said that i was the key, and they would definately try and get over there again sometime with me, to try and get him to church. so that was a good thing, and thats pretty much how my day went. nothing too shabby today, i took a nice long rest....checked my e-mails. that was about it.
oh and ps-thanks w...im sure ill enjoy the letter. and i hope that i would be the person you are making that cd for...lol...with all of your awesome singing on it :) i need to write you another letter...and just so you know, i haven't told chad about my mother yet. i think i got as far as telling him about me getting called to primary, thats it.
i feel kind of bad too...i haven't heard from him yet...i don't know how he liked his birthday package that i sent him...nothin. oh well, i guess there's always another week. hope he and the other missionaries i am writing to are doing ok!

talk to you all laters.
snuffaluffagus xoxo
brandie pandie :)

january 26, 2007-

nothing too new has happened.  i've been really busy preparing for new things that are coming up this week.  i went heart attacking last night, and oh my goodness, it was so fun! lol.  we went at like 1am and i think we might have scared the crap out of the new elder! lol.  but i am sure that the one that stayed there knew it was me when i saw they took down all the hearts this morning :(  oh well.  we got another lady who knew i was coming (or thought it was me anyways...)  and sent me an e-mail, saying how she got heart attacked, and it made her feel really good, because she was having a really difficult day yesterday.  me and kaylyn went, so it was pretty cool.  and this time, we wrote messages on the hearts...some fun things that we wrote on hearts were "surgeon general's warning:  may cause heart failure, but please don't call 911!"...or "you know you love it when we leave tape residue on your windows and doors"  or even "you are my pacemaker"..."you've been heart attacked..." things like that.  i really liked this, and both me and kaylyn thought it was cool beans! lol.  i can't believe i said cool beans.  anywho,  i haven't heard anything from chad in the last how long...if i don't get a letter tomarrow, then i know that he is super busy and really has his nose in the work of the Lord, which i want...i guess its just a thing where i can feel happy and sad about it at the same time, you know...so i feel like there isn't really anything i can do about it, just keep SWIMMING! lol.  but later on today, since i have the day off...and it will be the last day i have off for...for...ever?  lol.  i will be going over to kaylyns house, to say hellow to the kids as i always do...and hope that i can see them again...i think i'm going to have to go over there every day i have off...cuz i am going to be so dang sad not seeing them for a few days :(  so its going to be hard.  and besides, today is kaylyn's dad's birthday, so we are going to suprise him i think? lol.  awww...im so tired! lol. 

so talk to you all laters.

snuffaluffagus :)

brandie pandie

january 23, 2007-

so this is an update blog on the things that are going on...and speaking of which...that reminds me to update a few things on here.  well, i got a letter from sister kjelstrom the other day, and i finally responded back to her today.  as i wrote to wayne, mitch, and chad.  lovely.  i miss them all so much!  so i sent those out, and if you are reading this, be expecting a letter very soon! lol.  but on other news, instead of that vector stuff, selling knives, ive decided it just wasn't for me.  so this entire time, ive been looking for a better job which will serve my needs much better.  so after about a month of looking and interviews, i finally landed a great job as a customer service representative at APAC Customer Services.  i get paid well, and even for the job, i would be going to Green Bay anyways for school, which is right up the block...and the stake center is two blocks the other way!  pretty much awesome stuff! lol.  and speaking of church, i got called to the primary! lol.  it was so cool.  i know that the Lord is preparing me to be a mother, and i guess this is the way he wants me to learn!  I don't know a lick of the children's songs in the songbook, and also a great challenge and a beautiful learning experience from that.  i also get a great opportunity to hang out with the kids.  today i took them sledding, and it was amazing.  fun fun stuff.  i haven't gone sledding since i was in like fifth grade! lol.  also as an update for on here, i got a letter, tape, and a few pictures of chad on his mission while he was at the MTC.  they are posted under my pictures...lol.  so idk about right now, but i will be loving my life as soon as i get to work.  i know that i need to be paying my bills and such, and as soon as they get caught up to my liking and satisfaction (AKA paid off...)  then i will be happy...then i can save money for a better car and things like that...and then i will be mostly happy...wait a about 23 more months, and then i will be totally happy :) lol.

right now, i think that my life is amazing.  i am given so many trials and so many tests, yes, they do seem very much overburdening?  but in the end, i know it will be okay and totally worth it.  :)

oh so happy with my life :) yay!

keep you updated laters.

always your snuffaluffagus xoxo